The shock moment when I realised I hadn’t had a period for nearly 6 weeks and I was feeling tired and exhausted all the time. I was taking contraception and I was taking it regularly every day. I told Tony and he wasn’t sure but I said I wanted to take a test to rule it out so I could then investigate why I hadn’t had a period and why I was so tired. I sent Tony out to get a test then when he got home I went and peed on the stick. I set the timer on my phone for 3 mins and went downstairs to try and distract me. When the timer was done I had to then go back up and look at the stick but I was so scared that I didn’t actually want to look. At this point I didn’t know what was going through my mind. I would love it to be positive as I also wanted to have 3 children but at the same time I didn’t feel like I was ready to have another baby just yet as Andrew was still very much attached to me and doesn’t like being too far from me. I took a deep breath and went and looked at the stick.
2 LINES!! 2 bright red lines was staring right at me. I was pregnant.
I couldn’t believe it. I thought to myself, how could this happen? Well I know how it happens but how? I was on the pill. I was taking contraception to stop myself from falling pregnant. I just looked and then I started to cry. I poured my heart out. These ended up being tears of joy. I was happy that it was positive. I went downstairs and told Tony and watched him become in total shock.
Well that was that then. We were going to have another little monkey running around the place. Once the shock had sunk in I was relieved and very excited. We then went and told family and close friends who were all very pleased for us.
The next thing to happen was my appointment with the doctor. It started off by being asked if it was planned. When I said I was on contraception she said that I wasn’t able to go back on it after I gave birth. Well to me that was obvious. She then asked the question. And with that question I gave the look. “Because this pregnancy wasn’t planned, would you like to consider a termination? It can be very difficult to enjoy a pregnancy when it wasn’t planned”. Would I? Now please give me a minute while consider my answer. No! I’m very sure thank you, I want to keep this baby. It may not have been planned by myself or Tony but it was planned by someone else and that is enough for me.
When the appointment was finished I got given 2 numbers for the 2 local hospitals that I could go through and I was told to ring them myself and do a self referral. I phoned them on the way home from the doctors and kinda wished I hadn’t. Trying to work out and answer the man on the other end of the phone was very funny. He asked me for the first date of my last period and I thought to myself, well this is very personal and I don’t want to share it with you. Now this could have been because I never had a man ask these questions before so I felt very much out of my comfort zone. I answered his questions then carried on home.
I had a very successful first midwife appointment. The midwife was very lovely and explained everything as she did the paperwork. Tony came with me for the appointment and I’m glad he did. I love him being involved in the pregnancy and asking questions too. She had asked me if myself or anyone else in my family suffer from any form of mental health and I said no, which is true. Tony then said to the midwife that he suffered with PND after our first baby was born. She was very polite and said that for the purposes of her paperwork it is only interested in the maternal side of things but she herself would very much like to hear what happened. So then the next 20 mins were spent with me just sitting in my chair and Tony and my midwife were discussing PND in males and how many more men are actually stepping out and asking for help. So that was appointment over and I finally think it has settled down into my mind now that our family is indeed going to grow.