I saw a photo on Facebook that made me angry so angry I have had to blog about it but even as a write this I am frustrated that I am I writing this blog. I apologise if this ends up being a rant that’s not what I want my blog to be about but I feel we need to talk about and nip some common misconceptions in the bud, so here is what’s got me all in a fluster.
I was flicking through Facebook and I see it. A photo with a man and his daughter having a bath, the photo never annoyed me it was the caption, below this photo of a man enjoying a perfect natural photo of a father bonding with their child was the caption.
“No man should bath with their child. How wrong is this”
What the actual duck was I reading this right I took a second look, yep I was reading it right, ok I thought let’s read the comments all these idiots trolling putting down this man, luckily I looked through the internet and found a similar photo on there asking if it’s ok for a dad to bath with their kids thankfully most on there were saying yes it’s ok. I thought I would Check with some mums on a PND support group and have a little see what they thought and thank fully they all agreed with the fact that dads should have baths with there kids. So I felt a little better but why do we still even need to ask this question in the 21st century men are actually trying to take the lead with their children to actually do more than they ever have, we are trying to bond with our kids and one of the best ways of bonding is skin to skin yet when we embrace that and make a step to be more active with our children some people still don’t get it.
If I was to ask, should a woman bath with their boy or girls? Should a mum go in the lady’s with her Toddler son when he needs the toilet? Should she get changed in front of our kids when we go swimming? Or tell a mum their kids should never see them Naked, I would break the internet with comment after comment criticising me for putting a woman down for wanting me to look after their kids, some of the comment would be I imagine all of these lines.
- Why shouldn’t a mum take here kids the loo what is she meant to do let the wee themselves.
- Why shouldn’t a mum bath there kids it helps with their bonding?
- You sexist pig the poor woman is trying to bond.
- How can you put a woman down for trying to bond.
And all these comment would be right, but why when a man does these things with the kids (baths, takes them the toilet or change with them for swimming) is it wrong. Why will people criticise dads for trying to bond with their kids why is it so diffrent why is it frowned upon by some to bond with our kids in the same ways some women do? Or course it is ok for dads to bond with their kids we should be able to bond in fact is medically proven to help with anyone struggling with PND.
In fact these activities saved my life, having a bath with Elizabeth saved my life, when I was at my lowest it was my wife persuading me to have a bath with my Elizabeth that helped me bond, it was from that we gained trust in each other and bonded, that small little bit of time laid the foundations for me to feel more confident taking her swimming or spend more alone time alone with Elizabeth, we shared a bath until Elizabeth was about 2 years old when her brother came along he joined us in the bath right until Elizabeth kicked me out and told me the bath was too small for all 3 of us.
So yes it’s 100% right for a dad to bath their kids or to do any care at all with them it helps us bond we are their dads and there is nothing wrong with us sharing that time or wanting to care for our kids.